You Don’t Have To Always Be Positive
Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes your life does not go to plan, sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to even if you tried hard to make sure they would. Sometimes really terrible, tragic things happen and you have to rebuild, and sometimes even the tiniest things can throw you.
If you have a mental health problem, even if you’re throwing yourself hard into recovery, sometimes you will be sad. Sometimes you will have relapse days. Sometimes, you might wind up in a crisis all of a sudden.
I have a habit of becoming convinced that I am a complete failure and worsening my own mental state if I find myself struggling in the slightest: if I can’t stay positive, if I can’t cope all of the time, if I can’t love my mind or my body, or if I spot myself using any hint of disordered behaviours again. I can wind up spiralling from “bad” into “full blown crisis” just simply because I’m being too hard on myself.
The reality is, though, that most of those feelings are really quite normal, or at least to be expected from time to time, and it is unrealistic to believe otherwise.
Life happens and even fully healthy people have struggles. Nobody can stay positive 24/7, 365 days a year and if you have an illness that affects your brain you are going to have normal struggles like everybody else, plus your emotions will be possibly amplified or processed differently because of said illness.
Now, I’m not about to say that we should let ourselves just spiral into oblivion when we are fully aware that things are getting worse again, of course not, but sometimes it can be very difficult and exhausting just to stay alive. What if we decided that it was healthier, sometimes, to just accept our present state, get help if necessary, and try again tomorrow? What if we decided that it wasn’t the worst thing, and that we didn’t have to hate ourselves for it or feel guilty in any way?
No matter how hard we wish it could be the case, mental illness does not just go away when you click your fingers. Even if you have been free from or successfully managing your symptoms for 6 months or 6 years, people struggle, and this is okay. You are okay.
Neither standard emotional responses nor serious mental decline make you a failure. It really is okay to be not okay sometimes, so don’t let anybody (including yourself) try to make you believe otherwise.